5 Steps to Getting Rid of
Negative Feelings! ______________________ When I deal with negative feelings my stomach feels like it's in a knot; I get lost in intense feelings and my inner pessimist comes out. Yes, she has the sure fire answers that are guaranteed to make any situation worse. For the past few days I have been dealing with
negative feelings. My stomach has been in a knot and I feel sick in my stomach.
I am not depressed but am just thinking or processing negative feelings. If I
allow these negative feelings to linger without managing them; depression will
set in.
I ask myself, “Why are you allowing these feelings not (my feelings) to monopolize your body and make you feel sick?” See, I realized some years ago that it is
possible to process negative thoughts and feelings without feeling negative.
The problem is it’s such an easy pattern to fall
back into. Before you know it you’re surviving underneath an array of thoughts
that have seemingly usurped your life and ability to function in the most
productive ways.
So, what do we do? What is the first step to
changing this scenario?
1)
Choose;
the first step is to make a conscious choice to no longer feel bad. Say, “I
choose in this moment to no longer feel bad.” In this moment I choose peace, in
this moment I choose happiness, in this moment I choose to live life to its
fullest and be happy.
2)
Release;
now it’s time to send those negative feelings away from you and out of your
body.
3)
Ask:
ask yourself, what am I feeling? The answer might be, “I feel bad, sad or
depressed.”
4)
Separate:
Say “I am feeling…” and leave it at that. Don’t attach any word to the end of
the sentence.
5)
Exhale;
take in a deep breath where that descriptive word would have been and release
the breath.
In that exhale you are sending that negative
emotion out of your body and away from you. You have chosen to set it free. It no longer can cause you any ill
feelings. Anytime you feel negative emotions in the pit of your stomach; repeat
this process.
The same thing in the mind; when negative thought
are swarming around in your mind, diffuse them in this way. If there is a
legitimate problem, then decide what action(s) you can take to resolve it. Then
do them as immediately as you can.
If you are not in the position to solve or resolve them; seek assistance from someone who can. Then let it go. By: Vivian Gale, AS. BA, Counselor
and Author of "Fart In The Wind"
An Emotional and Spiritual Guide to Graceful and Effective Communication with Anybody!
April 10, 2010 (C) |
10 STEPS TO GRACEFUL COMMUNICATION! _______________________
1. Search Your Heart - Stay in touch with your feelings.
Examine the uncomfortable, angry or resentful emotions as early as you
recognize them. Especially when you feel yourself wanting to lash out at
someone. 2. Wait to Relate-Never discuss an issue without taking
time to think it through. 3. Set A Date- plan a specific day and time to discuss your emotions
with your friend or loved one. 4. The 5 Minute Timer-allow no more the 30 minutes to
discuss the issue/problem with your friend or loved one. Take turns 2 five minutes
turns each until you have resolve. 5. State the Issue and How it Made You Feel- During your turn state the issue and how it
made you feel, then wait and allow the other to respond. 6. Avoid Blame and Interruptions- Never blame the other for your
feelings. Take responsibilities for them. Search for irrational thoughts and
behaviors on your part. 7. Use “I” Statements! – Start your comments
with “I feel” ____ when . . . or “I felt when . . . vs., “you make me feel . .
.
8. Aim
for Resolve – decide what your goal is for the conversation/meeting and try
to reach it. Now’s the time to decide what steps if any need to be taken to right a wrong. 9. Check
for Mutual Understanding – both parties agree, apologize, hug or shake
hands and assess honestly whether or not they feel satisfied. 10. Don’t
Rehash the Trash - It’s not funny
when you toot on your honey! Once the issue is resolved leave it in the past.
Don’t bring it up outside the meeting setting. If you’re still unsettled about
something decide whether it’s worth it to bring it up again. If so, plan
another session follow the same 10 steps to reach homeostasis. That is, happiness and peace with each
other and the issue discussed. You've just read and excerpt from my book, "Fart In the Wind!" By: Vivian Gale, AS. BA, Counselor and Author of "Fart In The Wind"
An Emotional and Spiritual Guide to Graceful and Effective Communication with Anybody!
(c) January 2011 |
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Subjectivity: An Originator in All Creation!
There
is what is called a Life Principle in the center of all that exist. This life
principle is said to be the very core of Life or God. It exists in everything,
all the time and everywhere. We
can all upon this Life Principle to assist us in our lives; to give us guidance
to problems and help us out of our troubles. We can talk to it when we are lonely.
The more we are aware of its presence and attentiveness to us the more we can
tap into it and benefit from its existence. Whatever power it was that brought this “Life Principle” to the
earth, it came endowed with unlimited resource, unlimited energy, unlimited
LIFE! No other force can conquer it. No obstacle can seize it. All through the
history of life and mankind you can see its directing intelligence—call it
nature, call it providence, call it what you will—rising to meet every need of
life. The whole purpose of and
in this Principle is growth. If you look at nature going back millions or just
thousands of years you see life moving forward. The Dead Sea may appear to be
stagnant but new bacteria and germs are growing in it by minute and day. In all
nature to cease to grow is to remain stagnant or perish. But we now understand
that as transformation for the
sciences have proved that nothing ever dies but only changes.
It is for men and women who are not ready to stand still, who
refuse to cease growing, that this is written. It will facilitate a clearer
understanding of your own potentialities in showing you how to work with and
take advantage of the infinite energy/power all about you.
Your future is of your
own making. In as much as we cannot force our will on another our future is
entirely up to us. For if we desire to marry a certain man or woman and that
man or that woman does not want to marry us then we should seek a compatible
mate that is for us and that does want us. When our desires are rightly and
intently wholesome and nonintrusive of another man’s rights they can then find
their reality in our lives. For the only
law of infinite energy is the law of supply. To survive, to win and to
triumphantly surmount all obstacles has been its everyday practice since the
beginning of time. It is no less resourceful now than ever it was. You have but
to supply the urge, to work in harmony with it, to get from it anything you may
need.
For if this “Life Principle” is so strong in the lowest forms of
animal life that it can teach the bird to circle and dart, to balance and fly;
if it can grow a new limb on a spider to replace a lost one, how much more can
it do for you, a reasoning, rational being, with a mind able to work with this
“Life Principle,” with an energy and an initiative to urge it on!
The evidence of this is all about you. Take up some demanding form
of exercise— rowing, tennis, and swimming, riding. In the beginning your
muscles are weak, easily tired. But keep on for a few days. The “Life Principle”
promptly strengthens them and toughens them to meet their new need. Do rough
manual labor and what happens? The skin of your hands becomes tender, blisters,
and hurts. When you keep it up, does the skin all wear off? On the contrary,
the “Life Principle” provides extra thicknesses, extra toughness, calluses, we
call them—to meet your need. All through your daily life you will find this
“Life Principle.”
The mere fact that you have obstacles to overcome is in your
favor, for when there is nothing to be done, when things run along too
smoothly; this “Life Principle” seems to sleep. It is when you need it, when
you call upon it urgently, that it is most on the job.
We identify with failure on personal levels when we don’t achieve
something we have striven for. Even sometime in nature you see a tree that
bares no leaves; or an animal that is deformed or a human that is derelict. But
even those things are not perfect; they strive to live just as hard as the next
one. They don’t take up a knife and kill themselves they keep on going.
Fortunately we have more of a choice when it comes to growth and change. A barren
tree cannot pull itself up by the roots and plant itself in a better
environment to grow, but you and I can.
The “Open, Sesame!” of
Life
Whether you are the
custodian of millions, or have to struggle for your daily bread. This “Life
Principle” makes no distinction between rich and poor, high and low. The
greater your need, the more readily will it respond to your call. Wherever
there is an unusual task, wherever there is poverty or hardship or sickness or
despair, there is this servant of your mind, ready and willing to help, asking
only that you call upon it.
And not only is it ready and willing, but it is always able to help. Its ingenuity and resource are without
limit. It is Mind. It is thought. “It is the Telepathy that carries messages
without the spoken or written word,” Robert Collier says. “It is the Sixth
Sense that warns you of unseen dangers. No matter how stupendous and
complicated, nor how simple your problem may be—the solution of it is somewhere
in Mind, in Thought. And since the solution does exist, this Mental Giant can
find it for you. It can know, and it
can do, every right thing. Whatever
it is necessary for you to know, whatever it is necessary for you to do, you
can know and you can do if you will but seek the help of this
genie-of-your-mind and work with it in the right way.”
When poverty and circumstance no longer hold power, the lowliest
man in the land can win a place side by side with the highest.
To those who do not know the resources of mind these will sound
like rash statements; but science proves beyond question that in the
wellsprings of every man’s mind are unplumbed depths—undiscovered deposits of
energy, wisdom and ability. Sound these depths—bring these treasures to the
surface—and you gain an astounding wealth of new power.”
The religions of our
world we have been tricked to believe we need to depend on a power outside of
ourselves; that we cannot trust our own instincts and follow the voice of
Intuition as it leads us into all that is right, good and intended for us
individually in our lives. For it is simply the voice of God, of the Life
Principle, of Sub-Consciousness, in the place where the two are made one; for
the latter has no genesis without the latter. I have come to acknowledge that
there is a collective intention as well because of this. When an intention is
set for the masses and the minds of man are manipulated through beliefs we
appear to lose our power. We cannot lose our power however it can be shrouded
from our awareness; we must open our eyes and let the crust fall by our side.
Most of humanity is living in a deep sleep. We all operate on
different levels of fear, intelligence, spirituality and emotions. But to the
one who ceases to live fully by growing in all areas comes a slow form of dying
which can be compared to the Peggy Bundy’s of the world. Isn’t that why we
loved her because she got away with doing nothing?
Contentment comes in the form of gratitude
when we can see where we came from and the growth we’ve made over some space of
time. But, discontentment comes to the one who ceases to try. Discontentment is
the naughty companion of the one who is not satisfied and or has not yet found
his or her answer to the question of “how to change his or her life or current
situation.” That one will continue to strive bewildered, until he has come up
with a satisfactory explanation of how to cause change to occur for his or
herself. Is physical work alone
enough? I say not. If so, then the majority of the middle class would be the
upper class. Is thinking or wanting it enough? I think not. If so we would
cease in all labor. So what then is it that man needs in order to grow and change
from one state to another, to awaken, to bestir himself? The power to be what you want to be, to gain what you desire, to
accomplish whatever you are striving for and dreaming of, abides within you. It
rests with you foremost to bring it forth and put it to work. Of course you
must know how to do that, but before you can learn how to use it, you
must realize that you possess this power. So our first objective
is to get acquainted with this power.
While the whole car is
used when driving only a small portion of the car is actually moving the car
along the road. All the other parts have usefulness but are not all necessary
for growth, but for enjoyment along the ride. Your body is for all practical purposes merely a machine, which
the mind uses. It’s a mere vehicle of expression to interact with the material
world; for we are primarily spiritual in nature having a physical experience. This
mind is usually thought of as consciousness; but the conscious part of
your mind is in fact the very smallest part of it. “Ninety per cent of
your mental life is subconscious, so when you make active use of only the
conscious part of your mind you are using but a fraction of your real ability;
you are running on low gear. And the reason why more people do not achieve
success in life is because so many are content to run
on low gear all their lives — on SURFACE ENERGY alone. If these same people
would only throw into the fight the resistless force of their subconscious
minds they would be amazed at their undreamed of capacity for winning success,”
Author Robert Collier says.
Conscious
and subconscious are, of course, integral parts of the one mind. But for
convenience sake let us divide your mind into three parts—the conscious mind,
the subconscious mind, and the Infinite, Subliminal or Universal Mind.
“The subconscious mind is
a distinct entity. It occupies the whole human body, and, when not opposed in
any way, it has absolute control over all the functions, conditions, and
sensations of the body. While the objective (conscious) mind has control over
all of our voluntary functions and motions, the subconscious mind controls all
of the silent, in-voluntary, and vegetative functions. Nutrition, waste, all
secretions and excretions, the action of the heart in the circulation of the
blood, the lungs in respiration or breathing, and all cell life, cell changes
and development, are positively under the complete control of the subconscious
mind. And more, it can see
without the use of physical eyes. It perceives by intuition. It has the power
to communicate with others without the aid of ordinary physical means. It can
read the thoughts of others. It receives intelligence and transmits it to
people at a distance. Distance offers no resistance against the successful
missions of the subconscious mind. It never dies, we call this the soul mind.
It is the living soul.”
The Rev. William T. Walsh, explains the idea very clearly: “The
subconscious part in us is called the subjective
mind, because it does not decide or command. It is a subject rather than a
ruler. Its nature is to do what it is told or what really in your heart of
hearts you desire.
“The subconscious mind directs all the vital processes of your
body. You do not think consciously about breathing. Every time you take a
breath you do not have to reason, decide or sway. The subconscious mind sees to
that. You have not been at all conscious that you have been breathing while you
have been reading this page. So it is with the mind and the circulation of
blood. The heart is a muscle like the muscle of your arm. It has no power to
move itself or to direct its action. Only mind, only something that can think,
can direct our muscles, including the heart. You are not conscious that you are
commanding your heart to beat. The subconscious mind attends to that. And so it
is with the assimilation of food, the building and repairing of the body. In
fact, all the vital processes are looked after by the subconscious mind.”
“Man lives and moves and has his being” within this great
subconscious mind. It supplies the “intuition” that so often carries us to our
good.
Upon first contemplation
of these things I could a not readily agree that the subconscious mind was the
ruler of the body. However, after some minor consideration I succumbed. My
reasoning? God is the source that created the world through the spoken word.
Since God is all there is and since all that is is created through the one mind
of God then so is man. Man is created in the image and likeness of god. We are
mini-verses. As the big universe is held together and directed by the mind of God,
without effort of course, but set to function in motion until God decides to stir
things up; so is man or so should man be capable of the holding together of his
own substance and the ruler of his mini-verse. Uni -meaning one or uno;
verse meaning part or section of a whole.
Uni also as in Uni-ty.
One; all is one. The ending verse make it all the more special as
the word verse is typically used in
the Biblical or Scriptural sense as a
portion of a chapter or song. So, one song we are in and of one song and a
portion of the whole but not the whole itself; yet the whole is one.
When we now come to
understand the nature of man as a mini-god or the master of his own mini-verse
one can easily conclude the thing to be so.
By thought are all things
made and by thought are all things held together thus by thought are all things
manipulated or controlled. The subconscious mind is the link between Originator
and Substance. It is the link between all life in the Life Principle. That is
why we are all connected. Every man, women, animal, tree, water, simply
everything is connected by that same substance, activity and power. This is why
it is said that God or Creative Substance or Source is experiencing
itself/himself through all that exist for all that exist would not without the
Life Principle otherwise known as Consciousness, Awareness or Spirit contained
at and as the very substance or core of its being.
The prayer Christ prayed
to the Father was, “Let they kingdom come, on
earth as it is in heaven.”When we clearly understand the function of one,
we will automatically understand the function of the other; for one is the
physical and the other the spiritual. One is the visible and the other the
invisible. I am certain I have given
you some things to ponder this day; but let me depart with this. Manifesting is causing what you desire in the
heart to come forth in the physical by deliberately using your thought, desire
and faith in a direct and deliberate manner. The Invisible in what we know as
the beginning, caused through the invisible means of thought, and desire a thing
to be, Visibility or Creation. Now, the Visible or Creation, you me and all of
life itself, goes forth to create through the same Invisible means of desire
and thought. Our desires are made manifest in the physical and visible form of
nature. This is the process called Manifestation which is being used more
prominently today. Manifestation is then,
the act of deliberately causing a thing to be by sheer use of the laws of
Subjectivity or the laws of attraction. Simply by holding that thought in mind
we set in motion the creation of it. Now we must begin in the physical to
prepare ourselves for its birth. You see my dear friends;
we are always manifesting either negatively or positively but almost always
unconsciously. We must become conscious in it and deliberate about it. Some of
us are already doing it but are not sure how. Scripture says, “Without a vision,
the people perish.”
The Law of Attraction is
best understood by looking into a mirror. As we look into a mirror we see the
true reflection of our outer being. In the same way when we look around us we
see the truest reflection of our innermost being. Our thoughts are reflected
back to us in our lives. So we now know what work we have to do as Creators or
our lives. We must continually learn how to use our minds in the correct way.
No one ever taught us how. We have been conditioned to think that religion is
the way, that education is the way but indeed, the only way is the way of knowing; of understanding. Turn within and you will know. Knowing is more valid
and the all powerful life sustaining truth, while beliefs are limited in every
way causing division, hatred and strife instead of the Original Devine idea of
Love. When we look at the
universe we see growth; for it is ever expanding; we must cause a tsunami of
our destructive and negative growth patterns and learn the new and correct way
of being. When we come to this
place where our life only reflects what we want it to because we have trained
ourselves to think and be this or that then we will have reached the pinnacle
of true success. For the competitive nature we so often struggle with against
our fellow man is misdirected and should always and only be directed inward. Take
this last analogy for I want to be sure you really get it. When you take a seed and
plant it into the ground it grows into whatever the seed was that you planted.
If you plant a watermelon seed that is what it will grow into. It will not
yield a tree of figs. In the same manner our thoughts of fear and self doubt planted
into subjectivity will not yield health and prosperity. I will leave you here
now to ponder these things. Understand clearly, when we turn our lives over to
another and yield ourselves to their will for our lives. We give away our power
and can never produce our own will or God’s idea for our lives unless we are
permitted to by those that we’ve given our soul. I am writing a book on Spiritual
Psychology and these are some of the thoughts contained herein. I am not a
genius. This is the knowledge that was originally intended for us to have but
has been hidden from us that is why it is considered “The secret.” Scripture says, “I wish
above all things that we may prosper and be in good health. It also says that
we should be transformed by the renewing of our minds. And let us not forget;
in the beginning was the Word and all things were created by the Word. The Word was with God and the Word was God. And finally in both the
new and old Testaments it is stated and restated “Don’t you know that ye are
gods and children of the most High.” This verse in Psalms 82:6 is much ignored
by our modern religions and religions of old. We cannot comprehend our true nature
because we were never taught these things. We have given our lives over into
the hands of those that would control us by those who take and use our personal
power to their own desires. We are taught to respect
other men in the place of God. To look for other men to rule, teach and control
our every thought and action. We must learn to think in reverse of the masses.
We are created beings; we are visible manifestations of the thoughts from the
Mind of God, thoughts that were spoken into existence. In the same way though
thought and spoken words or affirmations, our own desires come into fruition,
from the invisible to the visible; there is simply no other reality. By: Vivian Gale,
Counselor
Author of “Fart in the
Wind”
www.viviangale.com
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